Anglais description.

[Blueam]

Bonsoir à tous, est-ce que quel qu'un peut regarder cela est éventuellement me le corriger. Le but est d'écrire 150 mots ou plus.

Sujet: décrire une personne de votre choix.

This girl is really my best friend. Her name is (fille) and she lives in a large and beautiful house that is located in (ville). She is fifteen years old, she is of average height, she is slim and she has got oval face with a small forehead, hazel eyes, a small mouth and a thin nose. She has got dark medium length haircut. Her neck is small and she has not got wide shoulders. She has got small legs with small feet. Her teeth are white but she is wearing a dental device. She has got a sun-tanned skin and she dresses with beautiful clothes; she is cute. Her parents are very nice and her father come from Portugal. She has got any brothers and any sisters thus she is only daughter. She has got a dog, this dog is a girl and she called Happy. Before she and me invited us during the holidays, we were gifts, we laugh a lot, now we don't see and we send simply postcards. Too bad!

En attente de vos réponses enfin corrections.
Merci.
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[munsterkiler]

well well well
the begining is great^^
c'est dommage que t'es pleins de petites phrases, she is ...., she is...., she is..., faudrais que tu remplace genre:
tu pourait remplacer ca :She is fifteen years old, she is of average height
par: She is fifteen years old and of an average height.
dans la premiere phrase, tu peut enlever le really, ca sert pas a grand chose
je souligne ce que je corrige:
she has got an ovale face
she doesn't have wide shoulders
her father comes from Portugal
she doesn't have any ....
she has [enleve le got] a dog
and she is called Happy
before, we invited each other during the holidays
we were gifts: ca veut rien dire, gift c'est cadeau, donc la t'a ecrit on etait cadeau, alors tu met we were friends (on etait amis) sinon je sais pas ce que tu voulais dire
we laughed a lot
now we don't see each others anymore, we simply send postcards

voila,
ca doit etre a peu pres ca
j'espere que ca ta aidé
a+

[Blueam]

we were gifts: ca veut rien dire, gift c'est cadeau, donc la t'a ecrit on etait cadeau, alors tu met we were friends (on etait amis) sinon je sais pas ce que tu voulais dire

Je voulais dire que l'on s'offrait des cadeaux.
Ce n'est pas : "We offered gifts"?

[munsterkiler]

ben ouai,
sauf que la tu dit
on offrait des cadeaux
donc, faudrais dire a qui,
donc un truc du genre
we offeed gifts to each other

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